However, our fear of intimacy is often triggered by positive emotions even more than negative ones. In fact, being chosen by someone we truly care for and experiencing their loving feelings can often arouse deep-seated fears of intimacy and make it difficult to maintain a close relationship. The problem is that the positive way a lover sees us often conflicts with the negative ways we view ourselves. Sadly, we hold on to our negative self-attitudes and are resistant to being seen differently. Because it is difficult for us to allow the reality of being loved to affect our basic image of ourselves, we often build up a resistance to love. These negative core beliefs are based on deep-seated feelings that we developed in early childhood of being essentially bad, unlovable or deficient. While these attitudes may be painful or unpleasant, at the same time they are familiar to us, and we are used to them lingering in our subconscious.
Cylinder down for tips from sexologists arrange how to handle it, whether femininity is on the table or not! Sexologist Tami Rose, owner of Adore Adventuresan adult boutique in Jackson, Mississippi, offers this definition:. It manifests another way in everybody. For some people, it may present as generalized anger before agitation, for others, depression or angst.