D Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them. One man felt a flash of anger at his wife when she said she was worried about him riding his bike in an unsafe neighborhood. Even though he knew she was not being controlling or judgmental, and despite being aware that her apprehension was based on the fact that she really loved and valued him, he felt rage. A woman became outright nasty when her boyfriend told her that he loved her so much he wished that they could have children together. She had never expressed hostility toward him before and the man involved was not pressuring her or even suggesting a course of action.
We may earn commission from links arrange this page, but we only advise products we love. These little things tip a man over that advantage. Aug 4, Getty Images If a person could answer this question definitively, they'd be billionaires. They'd be at the top of the New York Times bestsellers list forever with the Aggravate Potter of romantic self-help books.
After that while each of us moves arrange in our own way and arrange our own time, one truth is almost universal: we all face this challenge at some point in our lives. One thing that we are not is alone in our affliction. Recently, it was discovered that, arrange average, people spend about 18 months of their lives getting over breakups. The good news is that, even if it takes time, people are adept to move on. And when they do, they leave behind lessons, authentic, tangible, lived-experience ways to heal. As, eventually, we do heal.